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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:39:44 GMT -6
[Megamaw]
Isaac's heart raced. Someone his dad knew as a kid, and two strangers, just raced downstairs.
Somehow, he got the impression what was about to go down was not simply a normal basement dweller having a 'heated gaming moment'.
No, there weren't enough slurs in the angry swearing for that. Something was wrong.
He shoved the sammiches, plate and all, into his pocket. They'd be fine-- hammerspace pockets were good with delicate delicacies like this-- and rushed down the stairs, trailing Arcana closely.
As he entered those doors, he was quiet, observing.
And then that happened. That sense of deja vu. It wasn't normal. His memories, were they being tampered with?
Ignis didn't cross his mind, nor did the idea that reality was simply rewritten cross his mind. Somehow, this person. . . bypassed his psychic defenses.
Y'know, the ones he developed through a traumatic experience.
That was terrifying to him. And for a few seconds, that's what Orchid would see. A scared child.
Some say the bite of a cornered rat is more fierce, that desperation is a powerful, scary thing.
Isaac Reuben screamed, afraid and angry, rushing towards Orchid with a raised fist, green flames erupting from his arm and wrapping around his hand, as he went in for a punch.
"AAAAAARGH! NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY BRAIN AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:39:55 GMT -6
[Iso] Ahh, what satisfying responses! The fear, the angry attempts at banter, the- hm. Orchid frowned. What the hell was a literal child doing over here, and why was he so bothered by the look on his face? For a moment Orchid's expression faltered as well, equal parts confused and guilty. He was so distracted that Isaac Reuben nearly succeeded in decking him, stopped at the very last minute by another barrier of purple. Orchid stepped back, the vulnerability in his body language such a far cry from his earlier bravado that it was almost uncanny. But just as quickly as it showed, it melted away, the tense atmosphere about him bouncing back with ease. "Whoa there, kid! Careful. You almost broke Orchid rule number one!" he began with a cocky smile, pointing to himself. "No one touches Orchid. Got it? You really don't want to break that rule, trust me."He brought his hand to his chin, looking down at Isaac Reuben. "But, I get it, message received, don't warp reality around the kiddos too much, it's a little much for their brains. Really, my bad, that's on me, I apologize," he continued, the suggestion of a genuine apology buried beneath his smug tone. "Anyway!" Orchid turned to the others, mostly Arcana for the moment, careful to keep maintaining his barrier, "You're just a bundle of fun, huh? I think you and I will get along just fine. I'd figure out some equally snappy comebacks for you, but there's a lost preschooler in here and I've already disturbed the poor thing enough already."Then to Tsuki, "Okay, you forgot to talk about your summer vacation, but props for actually giving me an answer unlike everyone else! Also, extra props for the flattery! Your terror's right on point! I know I said my name's Orchid and all, but you could also just call me [ your god. ]"Something about his voice made it reverberate throughout the room. Bunny's ears twitched. Thyx was still too occupied by being amazed by Arcana's sick ownage. "Luckily for you all, I'm a merciful god. You're free to come and go as you please, I don't really give a shit. And now that I'm done with my sick intro and all that, I'll even prove my generosity!"With a snap of his fingers, the barriers blocking off the exits vanishing. "Of course, like I said, we'll be spending plenty of time together whether you leave or not, and I've got such fun planned! You don't want to miss out on that, do you? But this is a really drab place to talk about something so exciting, so why don't we head upstairs?"He went to snap his fingers again, but his focus stopped on Isaac Reuben for a second. "Y'know what? Maybe I shouldn't tire out my godmodding muscles so fast. You all seem to know how to walk, so I'll let you do the work. Or stay down here and cower in fear like Cel over there. Your choice!"Finishing the snap, Orchid vanished, his personal barrier dissipating and leaving Isaac Reuben punching air. Bunny remained silent for a few moments, then hopped up the stairs. Cel stayed still for a bit, but managed to get herself up, legs still shaking. She didn't know exactly what was going on here other than it was bad and purple, but right now she saw someone who was at least as vulnerable as she was. "H-Hey... are you okay?" she asked Isaac Reuben, trying to be comforting in spite of her clear anxiety over the situation. Thyx, meanwhile, finally picked himself back up. "Man, what a weirdo. And a jerk!" he commented. "Oh, man, I better make sure he doesn't touch any of my stuff!"With that he ran up the stairs, tripping at least once but being totally metal and not even crying!
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:40:06 GMT -6
[Gwen]
Arcana watched helplessly as Isaac was so easily stopped by this purple jerkass standing in front of them. She did note the subtle change in his expression, for it was... confusing. But then he returned to being a massive dickhead and Arcana's desire to toss Thyxballs at his punchable face increased tenfold once more as he talked. He even apologized with a smug grin. Man, this dude was insufferable.
"Hey shitbean, why don't you carry a mirror around if you wanna hear yourself speak, cuz nobody here is listening to you, Lord Fucko."
And then he called himself a God. And she knew a few people who called themselves Gods in the past. False gods who were so high on themselves they believed themselves above all others. Absolutely fucking bags of wind, they were. They all fall in the end. But at least, she always thought that was the case. Her usually iron will managed to waver for a moment, and she didn't know why. There was something unnaturally unnervingly awful about this guy.
Even though he removed the barriers, she didn't budge. She just looked Orchid in the eye, and pointed right at his smug face while scowling. And she was about to say something else that was equally cool as her previous roasts, but he began to talk again, mentioning upstairs. What was the significance of that...? What! He must mean to escape them!
"Hey Courage the Cowardly Fuckboy, don't you run away you purple piece of shit! I haven't finished harshing your buzz with my sick burns yet!!!! Go dig your own grave and fill it with the ashes of your personality of hot burning garbage, then go cosplay as Professor Plum in the depths of Hell, motherfuckerrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!" Arcana shouted as she grabbed Thyx's arm, and tossed him at Orchid... who unfortunately vanished just in time for Thyx to slam into the wall behind where Orchid once was, putting a significant dent in it. Thyx was completely unharmed by the ordeal, thankfully. "Awwwww man! Totally not cool at all! What a good line too... I wasted it. Damn."
Arcana pouted, sidestepping as Thyx wasn't even bothered by Orchid or being tossed or anything, and just ran straight upstairs like nothing had happened. And then she realized she totally had to help her friend out!
"Come on, Thyx has the right idea! We gotta chase down that beefing jerkaroni so I can kick his ass! I mean, we all gotta kick his ass, really! He's got a face, and that's why I gotta punch it! Sure, we might die trying, but dammit, I'm not going to stay in some lousy basement and let one of my friends gets horribly murdered in totally uncool ways by a man with the fashion sense of a grape!" Arcana did a cool pose as she gave an inspirational speech, leaning on the wall beside her. "No, we're going to beat up that loser and take the lunch money shaped like his heart, and redistribute it into the nearest firepit! Doesn't matter if we win! Doesn't matter if we lose! Because as long as we have each other, as long as we try, our deaths will not be in vein! Because determination is the greatest ownage of all! We will be the buzzkills of his doom! We will forcefeed him the tasty snack of an absolute pounding! So let's get him!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
After a few seconds, she pulled out a giant hammer made out of the same material as the wall. She grinned, and ran upstairs to join her BFF, Thyx, with her hammer trailing along and bouncing like it had the consistency of an inflatable hammer. She shouted at the top of her lungs like a battle-cry as she joined him upstairs, not a single bone of hesitation in her body.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:40:19 GMT -6
[Megamaw]
Isaac learned to be pretty good at reading people. Spending so long in places where everyone else could kill him on a whim-- he either picked up that skill quickly or died.
So he picked up on Orchid's vulnerability. He was dumbfounded.
His mind wasn't altered in any way. Underneath that 'trying to look cool and strong'-- which, well, Orchid certainly must have been strong-- there was a heart there, that was trying to reassure a traumatized child without putting the bold facade in front of the others.
On some level, Isaac could relate to that.
Then, he heard Cel's voice. He was still hyperventilating, but clearly trying to calm him racing heart down.
"yeah. i just need. a second to-- to breathe."
He slowly seated himself on the floor. The worst of it was over, he told himself. Orchid and him had some sort of understanding, it seemed.
"i mean, i came here to steal your food and shit, but do you mind if i just, y'know. chill here for a minute. regather myself."
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:40:30 GMT -6
[Tsuki]
Xyllia sat down next to Isaac. "You and me both, ara. I came here to recall memories and inform those I once spent time with of my world's situation, ara. Unfortunately, things are just as dire here as back home, ara."
Tsuki poured a glass of fresh, cool water into a fancy looking cup and handed it to Isaac, with a smile that said 'Here, everything will be alright maybe except I actually have no way of backing up that statement so I'll just stay quite and smile instead'
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:40:38 GMT -6
[Iso] By the time Arcana and Thyx arrived upstairs, Orchid seemed to be mid-conversation with Bunny. Evidently not the most chill of conversations, either, considering Orchid was holding Bunny by the ears and pointing at him damningly. Unfortunately for the duo, though, their lack of subtlety or volume control precluded them from getting in any eavesdropping. Orchid stopped what he was doing, turning to the two and dropping Bunny. "Oh, good! You made it!" he said, the irritation about his form still present. "Let's get something straight, though. I'm gonna need you to be on your best behavior if you don't want to find yourself warped into a dumpster full of thumbtacks, on the sun, in the middle of a black hole," he continued, keeping a watchful eye on Arcana in particular. "I've got an important party to plan, and you wouldn't want to get blacklisted from the hottest shindig of the century, would you?"Whatever resolve and anger Thyx had immediately melted away, replaced by a look so excited that his tail would be wagging were he a bit furrier. "Ooh, a party? I could supply some rockin' tunes!" he gasped, imagining the audience cheering already. Orchid raised an eyebrow. "Is that what your gimmick was? Well, whatever, sure, I don't give a fuck. More about the crowd than the talent..."What your gimmick was...? :thinking: Basement Cel was relieved that Isaac seemed at least stable now, but given the situation that wasn't enough to put her at ease. How could she truly calm down with some clear Ignis associate wandering around her house? He did say they could leave, though... maybe she could sneak out once she was sure everyone else was okay...? Not that she knew where to go from there, but... "O-Of course, you're welcome to stay here as long as you want!" Cel assured him, trying to keep a smile on. "A-And, umm... you don't need to worry about food! You could just ask! I'm used to random people walking in, so I don't mind them grabbing a bite on the way!"She tilted her head a bit. Now that she was closer, something looked really familiar about him... "Actually... are you a random person? There's something about your face..."Cel looked to Xyllia and Tsuki. The latter she was definitely familiar with, but not being able to check Bitlands to see if Cel and Xyllia crossed paths bc I think she was in the Oress Plot where the Tested weren't around countless plot resets combined with Orchid Stress(tm) made it harder to tell if she'd met her. "Have all of you been here before...? What a horrible reunion..."
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:40:49 GMT -6
[Gwen]
"Party? Who the hell would wanna go to a party with you, you barf nugget?" Arcana snapped at Orchid, scowling at him with the fury of a thousand suns. "I bet the only party you'd be able to attend is a party where all they play is polkas and everyone wears a clown suit."
Arcana poked her own nose, and it turned into a big red clown nose. She smirked, and stuck her tongue out at Orchid. And her voice changed to a much more mocking tone.
"Hey everyone look at me, it's me, Clown Boy, King of the Clowns. I'm an angtsy fuckboy who uses his own insecurities to bully others, ooooh. I'm so big and scary to hide the fact that I'm actually a sensitive douchebag inside a sack of decaying dogshit. I'm scared of everyone looking down on me because I had an unhappy childhood because my mom didn't give me that toy I really wanted that one time... and I also abuse animals because I'm probably a serial killer or somethin'. A serial killer of eye makeup because I can't stop bawling my eyes out. Wah wah wahhhhh." Arcana mocked Orchid for several minutes, doing an absolutely scathing and spot-on impression of him, and exaggerating a bunch of poses as she danced around. She eventually cracked up, and laughed til she calmed down. And began leaning on Thyx for balance.
"Anyway, what's your damage, prickface? And why are you picking on our cool unnervingly quiet rabbit friend there? Like, what did he ever do to you, you absolute almond?" She said, her tone more relaxed and casual as if she wasn't just talking to someone who would make Eden seem like the friendliest person she had ever met.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:41:05 GMT -6
[Iso] "Christ, four months and no posts? What the fuck is wrong with you people? You think this is the welcome I deserve? Honestly," Orchid sighed. "And, you know, you were entertaining for like 5 seconds, but now I'm just getting bored. So I'm gonna just godmod, get the ball rolling over here," he continued, dismissing Arcana with a wave of his hand. Basement Suddenly, in the basement, the floor began rising up beneath the group, causing Cel to topple over onto the ground with a "Wah!"The floor of the foyer opened up as the basement rose to the ceiling, and Orchid dusted off his hands as the "platform" settled into place. "There, now we're all in one place blah blah okay here's the thing, I need this stupid thread to get to 10 pages before I can tear reality asunder and usher in the apocalypse and all that good stuff, because there's no way you bumbling sloths are hitting 100 before the heat death of the universe. So we're gonna have a little party, have a good time, and then have a terrible time. Capisce?""Whoa, a party! I never get invited to those!" Thyx said excitedly, apparently not hearing the apocalypse part. "E-Excuse me?!" Cel exclaimed, still stunned from the rather fast transition between basement and foyer. Also, Orchid's unfortunate continued existence. And the uncomfortable mention of specific page numbers that felt worryingly familiar to her. "W-What are you-""Whoa, whoa, calm down there, Cel," Orchid interrupted, holding out a hand to stop her. This only made her more frustrated with him, but when she went to interrupt his interruption she noticed no sound was coming out of her mouth when she spoke. "This post doesn't need to be 10,000 miles long. You don't want to wait another 4 months to do anything, right? Let everyone else have a turn, jeez. And maybe hope some more people burst through the door to liven things up. Not that I'm not planning to get that done myself, but..."
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:41:17 GMT -6
[Roz] As if beckoned by a force beyond even Orchid's surprisingly meta understanding of things, a generic isekai rift (patent pending) opened in the middle of the room. Yikes, how original. What is this, 2008? Regardless of the weak justification for its existence, it spat out a single figure, donning a bathrobe covered in cheeto dust. " What!!!!!!!!" Jerry, from Denver, is on the floor. And the thread grows one post closer to the beginning of the end.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:41:31 GMT -6
[Tsuki] "... Ah. It would seem he's gone mad. The whispers of madness now seeps through his words. But given your power, perhaps you are seeing something we cannot. Alright, I've nothing else; let us play your game." Goddess!Tsuki was now fully resigned to play along. Because she had no choice, honestly. And well, despite the abject fear she was feeling, there was also something about this that was exciting. For something to be happening again. After living as long as she, these are the kind of things she'll remember forever. Xyllia on the other hand wasn't exactly as calm( ) about this whole situation. Because she's not mad. Like Ms. "I Enjoy Being Powerless" there. It was time for Xyllia to say the fuck word. "What... pages, ara? It's not been more than several minutes, ara. By Ara, ara..." She didn't say the fuck word. And then Jerry. "... fuck, ara"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:41:42 GMT -6
[Roz]
Jerry hyperventilated as they came to terms with reality, the requisite minimum of one post before they could properly react passing.
"Oh jeepers, okay, this place seems pretty normal. Definitely not one of those worlds, is it? Nobody's doing anything inappropriate, right?"
They scanned around the room, still in shock. Slowly, they turned their head. Until they noticed the elephant in the room. The one reason to feel fear. The most chaotic and unpredictable being present...
Thyx.
"NO!!!!! It's the guy from the fan fiction! I recognize him from the fan art! This is one of those worlds!"
... What?
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:41:54 GMT -6
[Papes] meanwhile, several feet away......... one of those cartoony black holes appeared on the floor, some fairly distant screaming coming from it and growing louder and louder until a literal pikablu appeared to be thrown out of it. Spark faceplanted on the floor as the weird cartoon portal blinked out of existence. "OH COME ON!!!!! IT'S ONE-USE ONLY? THAT'S SO AWFUL!!! Wait a minute why did it transport me here of all places. Is it just coincidence???" Ah, Spark appears to be rambling to himself. It took him a hot second to notice the people around him, orchid included--- No fucking way, is that Thyx...................... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOMEONE GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:42:08 GMT -6
[Roz]
"OH NO NOW MORE PEOPLE ARE BEING PULLED INTO THIS!!!!!!!!!!! TRULY THIS IS THE MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER FANTHYXION EVENT OF ALL TIME"
yes we are shitposting our way to page 10. this thread is ruined. thanks orchid
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:42:18 GMT -6
[Papes] "WAIT, CROSSOVER EVENT? NOOOOOO THIS IS EVEN WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:44:25 GMT -6
[Roz]
"YOU SAID IT LITTLE RAT FRIEND, THERE IS NO TELLING WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW!!!! IT IS TRULY THE END OF DAYS!!!!"
They continued to hyperventilate until something... something clicked in their head.
"Wait... Wait! Are... are buttholes canon here? That... that is important information. Important LORE and WORLD BUILDING that MUST BE ADDRESSED!!!! Lest we all SUFFER IN COMEDICALLY EROTIC TORMENT!!"
the fuck is wrong with jerry. the fuck is wrong with me.
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