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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:47:37 GMT -6
[Sims]
Anti nodded, walking calmly over to the pizza table and setting them down. He wasn't a stranger to items appearing out of thin air.
He then immediately launched himself at Orchid, fist extended, yelling "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASSSSSSSSSSSS"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:47:50 GMT -6
[Klept] Such a lust for burgers! Mima did not talk about the cheeseburger table and placed the paper bag down onto it, glancing back over at Anti. "This oughta be interesting." she simply muttered with a small grin, crossing her arms, very decidedly not helping anyone out or trying to de-escalate the situation.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:48:00 GMT -6
[Papes]
Wh-
What the fuck was this rando hedgehog doing.
"It's your funeral, my dude."
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:48:09 GMT -6
[Iso] "Ugh, you people," Orchid sighed as Anti-Sims' fist passed through the fabric of reality, now on a collision course for Arcana as though he'd stuck his arm through a portal. "I swear this whole Entirety is just made out of little Ignises. 'Ooh, let's get into a fight for no reason!' 'Ooh let's never do anything fun because I can only get off to the suffering of others!' 'Ooh let's not enjoy our victory let's conquer another Entirety instead and do the same boring shit all over again!'" he mocked. "Can't you just sit down and eat pizza in peace? Jeez."Orchid's continued mentioning of He Who Must Not Be Named naturally distressed Cel further and, bored, Orchid snapped and she tumbled out of mime hell shouting about Ignis this and why are you such a big meanie that and the furniture is nice but!! "W-Who are you, and what do you want?!" she asked with equal parts boldness and worry, only able to form words because she was just so mad at this jerk! "Whoa there, Cel, this is why I put you on mute in the first place! I can only exposit so much at once. You know this post is supposed to be taking place mid-punch, right? You're not being very considerate of others here, pal. Leave some room for plausibility. Here, I'll even do the work and end the post here so someone else can get a turn!""What in the WORLD are you talking ab-"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:49:17 GMT -6
[Roz]
"Haha don't lean so hard on the fourth wall dude, you might break it," Jerry Jerried Jerrifully, "and we wouldn't want that to happen, right? Unless..."
Jerry attempted to look into the camera like on The Office in surprise, but because they are decidedly not god, bitch, and therefore do not have true access to that bit, they just sort of looked awkwardly in some random direction. Did you forget? This is real life for you, Jerry. A real life, with full life consequences.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:50:31 GMT -6
[Gwen]
Arcana screeched, leaping out of the way just in time for Anti's mighty punch to just barely avoid her, though the sheer powerful force of the punch created a wind stream that blasted her away just the same, launching her into a nearby couch, knocking it right over.
"Hey, watch where you're aiming that thing you bastard fuckhog!" Arcana shouted, adjusting her sunglasses which managed to stay on her face unscathed. Her hair, however, was somehow even a greater mess than before, and her clothes were a little more tattered than before.
She grumbled, and used her powers to repair her clothes.
"Blasted purple fucktrain... I hope you snort mayonnaise off a dead man's asscrack, you giant gelatinous dildo!" Arcana shouted at Orchid from behind the "safety" of her couch fortress.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:50:41 GMT -6
[Sims]
"What the hell?" Anti said, as he pulled his fist out from the portal. He looked at it for a moment before looking back up at Orchid. That reaction speed shouldn't have been possible, nobody can be that fast. Well, except for himself, but that should have been obvious.
He thought for a moment, and then another moment, because this is a text based medium and I'm allowed to write as many words as I want before I press submit. Words words words. I can say whatever I want and it just happens because that's the way this whole system is.
Wait a second. That string of words gave Anti an idea. If Orchid could react faster than anything else, clearly the option was just to not let him react at all. For the first time in over ten years, he would REALLY stretch those godmod muscles.
"Alright purple dickmonger, let's see you dodge THIS!" And then Anti did a sick spinkick and decapitated Orchid, killing him instantly did a mediocre spinkick and decapitated himself because Orchid is his god, bitch. Weren't you listening? Jeez.
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:50:54 GMT -6
[Iso] "Boy oh boy, you guys really don't fucking get it, huh?" Orchid laughed again. "I'm not sure how many times I have to say it before you get it through your thick fucking skulls. [I'm your god. My word is law. My will is reality. I am the arbiter of fate.] Get it?" he explained, his grin melding uncomfortably with his exasperated tone. "This is all real cute, but at the end of the day [you're just not the ones in control here.]"With a snap of his fingers Anti's head would be reattached again. Backward, naturally. "Wouldn't you all rather just eat some pizza and kill each other in Uno something? Wouldn't that be more fun than getting utterly owned by me? Are you all just masochists or something?" he questioned, shaking his head. "I mean, I guess I can relate, I sure wish I had the time to be a giant gelatinous dildo today, but unfortunately I'm busy trying to be a productive member of society here! You know, I come in here promising a sick party, and sweet little Jerry seems to be the only one in festive spirits! And we're worst enemies in the Entirety I'm from, but you don't see me trying to magician-fuck decapikick them, now do you? This is seriously embarrassing, guys.""E...Entirety?""C'mon Cel, can't you ask questions earlier? This thread isn't supposed to have long-ass exposition posts. It's for stupid joke shitposts that exist to annoy me specifically apparently, which I guess is fine because of my immense karmic debt and frankly I deserve worse. But, come on, I know you've been dead forever so maybe my flawless memory is off somehow, but shouldn't you have more experience with this kind of thing? You know, balancing fast-paced large groups of people?""W-Wait, what do you mean I've been dead fore-"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:51:04 GMT -6
[Papes]
"I think I'm gonna start crying. This is the worst party EVER!"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:51:16 GMT -6
[Roz]
Jerry shuddered. This sheer display of power. The unbelievable claim that this person is God slowly becoming more and more believable. They were left speechless, save for one thing.
"I... I don't have Uno."
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:51:28 GMT -6
[Iso] Orchid paused. "Everyone has Uno, dipshit," he replied, baffled. "It came free with your fucking phone.""Stop doing that! Why won't you answer m-"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:51:39 GMT -6
[Roz]
Jerry shook their head. "No, I don't have Uno. I have the oldest phone known to Entirety."
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:51:51 GMT -6
[Iso] "Um, no you don't," Orchid scoffed. "I bought mine at the dawn of Entirety's slow and agonizing demise, dude.""What are you TALKING abo-"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:52:09 GMT -6
[Roz]
"W-well," Jerry stuttered, their deception unraveled by a master before their very eyes, "mine didn't have it!"
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Post by Tayl on Apr 28, 2020 23:52:23 GMT -6
[Papes]
What.
What.
Spark could not believe his ears.
"YOU HAVE UNO,"
UGH. THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHITPOSTER.
"YOU FUCKING BLOCKHEAD."
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